Several days after we posted in November we found out we were expecting. The enthusiastic Mama in me cheered loudly, of course, while the realistic and cautious Mama braced for all this could mean in the months ahead.
At the time our dear friends had just delivered a stillborn baby, and I was reading a book on grief, thinking maybe all those states and national monuments last Spring had just distracted me when we lost Columbus.
My doctor agreed to schedule extra visits for January when I was most concerned something would go wrong. All was perfect at our 15 week appointment, and the girls and I were preparing to head to San Antonio for the Film Festival.
When she listened at 17 weeks, there was no heartbeat. Again.
I guess knowing what to expect this time made it easier in some ways. We checked into the hospital, met our nurse (a dear Christian Mommy), and started labor.
The next morning, February 1, we delivered our 8th perfect and precious baby boy. We named him Courage Wilberforce, and had the privilege of studying him, talking to him, memorizing his little feet, hands, knees and elbows, and wrapping him in a soft sweet blanket to bring him home.
Our family gathered once again in the yard to sing, pray, and thank the Lord for what He gives, and for what He takes away. We sang "The Love of God" and "Be Still My Soul" and marveled at how the Lord sends such grace and peace in the form of beloved hymns.
Carolina made Courage a cross next to Columbus and we cried buckets of tears, knowing that he is with Jesus but missing him and all that he would have been to our family so very much.
I've had several people ask lately if we're ever updating our blog again (ha) and I've said..."UGH. I have nothing to say." But really, there is so much to say:
The Lord has been incredibly good to us. We marvel at His blessings every day, and we thank Him for each child, here and in Heaven. We have been loved and prayed for so kindly by the body of Christ and our families. Friendships formed walking difficult roads are priceless treasures; God has given these generously. Our baby boys were spared the hardships of this life and know only Heaven.
Our hearts are broken, but the Great Physician is mending them faithfully.
And I have a new love for all the verses on courage:)